Weblog
27/7: Fill yer boots ...
This is old but I only heard it this week so I thought I'd post it. Ever wanted to blow up your school? Here's how to do it.
3/7: Pune Tourist Board
Julie took this photo last August when we visited Pune on holiday and it has been sitting in our digital camera ever since. We had lived and worked in Pune, India for over five years running a Lotus Notes Software Company but returned home to England in January 2005.
I'd hate to have seen it before they started making progress ....
19/6: Baking a potato
For all you six sigma gurus out there. This was allegedly sent by an anonymous Ford employee. However it could apply to a whole bunch of companies.How a Honda employee bakes a potato:
1) Preheat a new, high quality oven to 180C
2) Insert Idaho Potato
3) Go do something productive for 45 minutes
4) Check for doneness, then remove perfectly baked potato from oven and serve.
How a Ford employee bakes a potato:
1) Instruct an Idaho potato supplier to preheat the oven to 180C
2) Demand that the supplier show you how he turned the dial to reach 180C and have him supply documentation from the oven manufacturer proving it had been calibrated properly
3) Review documentation, then have the supplier check the temperature with an expensive and sophisticated temperature probe
4) Request second temperature check with different probe for repeatability
5) Direct supplier to insert potato and set timer for 45 Minutes
6) Have supplier open oven to prove potato has been installed properly, and then request a free study proving that 45 Minutes is the ideal time to bake a potato of this size and variability due to orientation within the oven
7) Become disgusted with the supplier and demand a SIX SIGMA study of variable cook times for various potato sizes and orientations
8) Check potato for doneness after 10 minutes
9) Check potato for doneness after 11 minutes, 12 minutes, 13min, 14min etc
10) Become impatient with supplier (Why is this simple potato taking so long to bake?) Demand status reports every 5 minutes
11) After 35 minutes, conclude that the potato is nearing completion. Pass through Gate review reporting all Green status
12) Congratulate supplier, and plan expensive trip arrangements to supplier location to tour plant and review future project objectives
13) Update your boss on all the great work you have done and how without you the project would have been a complete failure. Explain to bosses why your committee must travel to review supplier plant location to improve relations and compliance directives with such an uncooperative supplier
14) Remove potato from the oven after only 40 minutes of baking, as a cost save measure without loss of function or quality vs the original 45 minute baking time study
15) Call in serving crew to serve potato
16) Wonder aloud what on earth those Japanese folks are doing over there to make such a great, low-cost baked potatoes that people seem to like a lot better than Ford potatoes…
24/4: Here’s what your performance review REALLY means!
Take a look at this and see if any of it matches what you've been told!!
